Torn

Torn.. kuch old sa song... but ive been hearin it since last 15 mins.. play re paply.. re re play.. re re re play... hmmm..
frankly speakin.. I DUNNO WHY :-S .. hardly matters.. all that matters is thati have college tom.. gotta get up @ 6 :/ .. TORN !!!

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
The conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune teller's right
i Should have seen just what was there
And not some holy light
its crawled beneath my veins
And now I don't care
I had no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can touch I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
Torn

hoooooooooo hohooooooo hohoooo

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's right I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed
Bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late
I'm already torn
Torn....
~~~ Natalie Imbruglia

SMILE... :) .. was here :p .... NIDHI :)

Musing...

You give it all that u have. more than what u thought u could. u dun know whats in hold for u. u keep moving. on and on.. and then when ur almost there.. u loose it all, thinking that you have been walking all the way.. and u got nothing.. thnking that after all the things that you did.. what u got was sh**.. u stop.. turn back.. not knowing that u were closest to it.. and then either u lose the will to start it all from the scratch.. abd even if u move on.. u dun have the strength.. u lose the belief that u had in u.. in ur deeds.. .. 'once bitten twice shy'... and if this dosent happen.. when ur almost there.. life.. screws u.. right when u were almost set to cross the finish mark.. and u r left helpless.. u have nothing to do.. than accept what eva came.. accept.. adapt.. and move on .. !!! i dun say u NEVER get what u want in life.. u HARDLY get what u wanted... and u adjust with something u never thought u will live with ... IS THAT LIFE ??..
it sometimes gives u a second chance.. but ... u start the journey all over again.. and when u think the finish line is right in front of u.. one of the above two things happen..

may be i think too much...
newayzz..
:) take care...
miss mee :P hehe
nidhi

NAFRAT HAI MUJHE .... ... huh ! :p

So !! another tag .. another post.. another long non-stop .. non-sense post i mean.. >:) .. well this time i have been tagged by manish*2 .. that is manish-lost with me & manish-the new cloud.. they asked me to write things i hate the most.. ok .. not taking a lot of ur time.. let me get straight 2 the point..

1. Indian-Origin-Anti-Indians .. who love just every thing that ppl in western countries do.. esp the ppl who worship US of A.... Morons ! Be proud of ur country.. ! When was the last time u heard an american saying .. "i hate usa" ??
2. People who think cracking some silly jokes.. and being non-serious atimes.. is a certificate that the person is a freak.. :\
3. Hipocrisy :-s
   
4. People who make their presence felt by loud cellphone ringtones.. and who speak out loooooud on phones.. did u know?? cellphoes have extra sensetive microphones.. and i hate it when ppl scream at the top of their voice when they r in a noisy place.. IDIOTS ! hmm..u cant hear the other person dsnt imply that he/she cant hear u aswell !!!
5. While discussing/arguing with frnz.. or people.. when two people start speaking at the same time while making their points.. and not realising that they r actually intrupting each other.. that irritates me .. like ne thing ..
6. People who think they know everthing.. and that every body else is a moron..
7. Men who think its a mans world !! ..
8. Lady drivers and Cycle drivers ... both have a real bad sence of traffic.. ( yep that includes me aswell!! :)) ... )
9. Egotists :-l
10. Microsoft !! for selling wondows.. huh ! it sucks bigtime >:)
11. When i have to sit between aunty ji's (sometimes ur cought there.. in between em.. :( .. )... and tolerate their gossips.. :-s .. i wonder why they have to open their mouths for no reason.. and talk non-sense.. n non-stop on every damn thing on earth that dsnt consern them :-s
12. Tolerating some sick relatives who drop by and advice my mom to get my nose pierced and start looking for a suitable guy.. for ill b 23-25 in 2-3 years :D hahahah !!! 2-3 years=24-36 months. huh ! :P .. (but i love it.... when mom n i laugh at them :P ... )
    
13. K-Ekta Kapoor and her saas bahu & saaajish series... :-s .. and obviously Star+ for promoting such injurious to health serials :-s
14. Pakistanis and Indians who dun want the 2 countries to become friends..
15. Behen ji's trying to turn maadern :P .. or as some ppl put it.. BTMs & BTTMs.. >:)
16. smell of cigarette smoke ..
    
17. When my parents compare me with my friends.
18. People wearing ill fitted clothes... esp... jeans.. :P
    
19. People who judge others .. without knowing them..
20. Tags.. haunting the blog world !!!

well i must say... it was an easy post.. i finished it in 10-15 mins :D .. gud.. and now .. tagging ppl .. hmmm....

1. Neetie ( chal kafilamba gap ho gaya.. abb blogging continue kar chokri !! :) .. )
2. Abhinav .. ( gotchaaa !!!)
3. Chaitra (best of luck devi ji.. acche se exam dena.. and aane k baad ye homework karna)
4. Atul ( This my frn is revenge :P kiddin .. )
5. Komal aka KK ( i know ur first line will b.. i hate my college :P )
6. Ricky (haha .. mazza aaya !!! )

phinally .... over !!! .. >:)

tc.. miss mee.. :)
nidhi

I LOVE U DAD.. I REALLY DO ... UR MY BEST FRN.. N ULL ALWAYZZZZ BE !!! THANKX. :)

love and care.. that u gave me :)

Last one year.. (well almost).. i have been around this place.. posting what eva came 2 my mind.. what eva.. i felt was cute.. what eva i felt was true.. made a lotaa frnzz.. some real life frnzz.. some frnz for life.. some real life frnzz started blogging and became my blogger dost.. i wrote so many sulking posts.. and there were some ppl who were alwayz there.. who went through the whole post.. no matter how sad.. sick and miserable it was.. who commented no matter what..

this world isint a bad place.. not for all atleast. i received so many mails .. where people appreciated my blog and mentioned that it some how spoke their mind aswell. and that resemblance of there state of mind and mine stapled them to my blog. i started blogging just for fun.. i had no idea that there are people in this world who take out time, read ur posts, comment and then care to mail me back.. taking out some time from their schedules and tellin me that they like my blog.. mails giving out experiences .. helping me understand life better.. helping me take a closer glance at the human nature.. and the wayz of life.. mails telling me.. what to d and what not to do..

blogging introduced me to some people who r now an integral part of my life.. the two ppl who top the list.. abhi.. neets..

i had a frn who called me his sis. when i took my first mock test and screwed it .. i was sitting in front of my computer .. starin at the CL-SIS screen and crying :P .. and then that frn told his frn who had been thru the cat journey who was in iimC .. to makeme understand.. that mock scores shulnt b taken the way i was takin em.. and that guy was abhinav.. and since then he has been treatin me as his chotu sis.. motivating me .. makin me giggle.. smile.. and takin care of me.. he takes care of all the minute things ..that even my real bro dsnt care of.. he wishesme luck before every exam.. he calls me up.. once in a while.. sits in front of his screen and types endlessly.. to make me understand that i can make it.. He is the best..

Neetie.. i ws young to this blog world.. when one fine mornin neetie buzzed me.. a girl who talked in a few wrods.. her magenta.. bold and extra large comic font.. :P made me go mad.. i hated that combination.. but i just fell in love with her way of talkin.. she surely knew how to talk toppl with "tameez" .. and for a girl like me.. who uses all the "abbey".. "oye" and all.. se was a lesson.. :) and since then.. she has been teaching me.. guiding me.. making me smile .. though i make her smile most of the times.. she cares for me.. and considers me as one of her bestest frnz.. :) and so do i.. before every interview .. every exam every event she calls me.. of asks me 2 call her up.. like frnz in real life :) ..

then i made frnz who mailed me mails that were .. pages long.. to make me understand that i shuldnt worry .. ppl who read my posts.. and if my posts worried em.. they wrote back to me.. coz they culdnt hold back :) exampless?? mitu did that once.. and then manish (the new cloud) .. manish also buzzed me once on yahoo .. and since then..we have been frnz.. he claas me once in a while.. he has taught me so many things.. :) some real price less CAT gyan was given to me by him on phone :P .. he mailed me some 2-3 dayz back.. a mail that touched me.. thankx :)

there was another guy who enlighten .. me.. poor me .. :P .. aman.. he was around here for only a few months.. but he guided me thru CAT and thru some realities of life.. he even posted some posts.. dedicated 2 me.. thankx frn :) ..


thankx rohit.. its coz of u that i have some really nice frnzz :) .. really.. i made frnz with u .. after i read ur blog... and then i ended up makin a blog for myself.. abb dekho . i have so many frnzz.. some rare gems.. coz of u :) thanks :) .. and start bloggn agin naa :)

well.. what can i say?? i wrote this post coz.. i wanted to thank so many ppl.. jinhe i never thanked.. who were there thru my ups and downs... who called me up.. so many times to ask me if my exam went fine.. who called meup somay times when ibroke so many bones in my accident.. who buzzed me.. on yahoo.. and enlightened me with their wisdom.. so on this .. beautiful day. .. id like to thank them for their.. love .. care .. and support :)

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY :) .. i now im late.. i shud have posted this post yesturday .. but .. i cudnt finish this post yest .. :)

thankx:) bbye :) tc ..
miss mee
nidhi :)

I cant say "NO" !!

I think its really very important to b assertive .. i think .. i stand alone with my decisions and move ahead even when the whole world has given up..

but .. i cant .. i cant .. i cant always stand with my decisions.. most of the battles i have lost is because i cudnt say no.. coz i bowedto the wishes of people i love..

there r three levels of security settings in operating systems.. i, my group and others...life has some levels like these.. n i think i can b assertive as far as others are conserned. But when it comes to my family.. im not the same nidhi.. i cant say NO to people i love .. i care about.. if my mom wants me to do a certain thing, which i dun wanna do.. i resist for some time.. and then break.. and do what eva she wants me to do. My dad is my biggest weakness.. He has made me do things that no one cud. I wanted to join DAVV.. do the bestest Integrated course from there.. i stood 81st in the country.. and he said NO.. i cried.. yelled.. did all that i cud.. finally He said yes.. and allowed me to join the insti, but call it emotional blackmail or what ever, i bowed down in front of him and here i am. Was never intrested in MPPET.. so took the test for fun.. and now im doing Engineering here in bhopal.. in some sick college.. can u believe.. i was getting IT in better colleges.. but dad made me opt for computer science. Its not that he threatens me or ne thing.. he just says the same thing in different ways.. and that does the trick.. and i just cant say NO. i wonder if im making any sence. but thats what happens in my life. its not the first time that something like this has happened. another incidence?? i was getting admin in banglore, in engineering. Dad said no. i wont send u any where. i wnt u here in bhopal with us for next four years. the college im talking about is one of the best in the country. And i cudnt join it.

A passout of a gud school. Then engineering from a college like this. first year at the college was frustrating. but i was ready to face it. why?? i dunno. but now when i look back at it.. i see that some person has had control over me.. so much that i gave up on some thing i strived for all throughout. i see that i cant say NO to some people. and i am ready to face what ever comes.. for them. Today im almost through with my engineering. yeah.,. i hate my resume.. when it says graduation from xyz college. coz i know there cud havebeen a better name.. a better course ther .. but some thing inside me says .. ITS OK. . !! huh .. if some one other than my parents whould have made me pick up a career that i never liked.. id have killed that person..

LOVE IS A KIND OF WEAKNESS, ISINT IT?

it hurts when i see better resumes and it hurts real bad when i realise that my resume cud have been like theirs..in a way my Father is a weak man.. he wants the people he loves to be with him.. as long as he can.. he wanted me to stay with him .. and may b i gave up.. and agreed to what ever he said coz.. im weak aswell.. just like him.. i love my dad.. he is the man who has made me the person i am today.. id do any thing .. just to see him smile :) .. i wish he reads this some day.. :) ..

newayz.. rachit my brother.. we fight.. and he dosent care for me.. not at all.. he is very self centered and is always conserned about what benifits him.. i cant recollect the last time he helped my coz im his sister.. i mean.. if i want him to bring me a ball pen from the market.. that costs 10 rupees.. i have to give him 20. so that he can have a packet of kurkure.. :/ .. and 75% sisters i have come across with have similar complaints.. hmmm.. but when he asks me to do any thing i dun say NO.. i just cant.. and help him.. coz i love him ..

today i know.. i shud be selfish about my piorities.. but earlier i cudnt say NO to my friends aswell.. even today in 70% cases i cant say no.. :\ ... sometimes it hutrs.. coz u giv ur max.. and the otherside dsnt..

if i find people in problems.. im alwayz there to help.. but i find only a few when i need some.. newayz.. may be because im alwayz there to lend them an ear.. what they havent noticed is .. that i never opened in front of em.. i cant.. i try to speak out things.. but i cant.. so they cant lend me an ear in return.. haha..( i seriously dun know what im talking..) or may be its okie.. to keep things to ones self.. but that makes u thikn a lot.. an thats bad.. :/

newayz.. comming back to the point.. one should be assertive.. i could have been at a better place .. but i chose to bend down infront of my dad.. i chose to obey him.. YOU SHOULDNT FALL IN LOVE.. U SHUD RISE IN LOVE.. for those who have moms who r house wifes.. take a look at them.. before their marriages.. some of them loved painting.. some loved playing guitar.. some loved watching movies.. they had their own intrests.. they had their own hobbies.. they were like us.. but today.. they hve lost their identities .. today u call ur neighbour mrs singh.. as mom of sonam.. as wife of mr singh.. she loves her family .. and even though she has done MSc in mathematics .. she wants to stay home.. so that her kids feel at home.. so that she can guied her kids in a better way.. so that her mother in law has a care taker.. so that her husband gets a hot tea when he gets back home after a day at his office.. .... if tommorrow.. my husband askes me to leave my job.. for what ever reason he chooses.. will i bend and break.. will i give up my identity .. again.. just like my mom did?? bcoz i love him.. and i dont have what it takes to say NO to the people u love .. from the bottom of ur heart..!!.. NOO .. I HAVE TO LEARN TO SAY THAT TWO LETTER WORD..


i still dun know what i wrote..
newayz..
tc.. miss me.. :)
nidhi

how can i forget ???? HOW ??

Added later.. with a BIIIG SMILE :)
after the last post .. i went 2 sleep.. and when i woke up.. i was gun-guna-ing.. this song .... i loved it.. and i think i still do.. :) i wish i cud find a link 2 it.. haha.. but i guess u all use P2P .. :D ..

Stay The Same - JOEY MCINTIRE

Dont you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Dont you ever say you don’t like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you’re better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,
Cuz theres nothin bout you I would change.

I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize, all the dreams you have inside.
Don’t be afraid if you ve got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.

Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You’ll make it through.

Dont you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Dont you ever say you dont like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, youre better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,
Cuz there’s nothin bout you I would change.

Dont change ..

I JUST LOVEEE IT :)

...........................................

hiii
well im here to post a query....
these days i have been downloadin a lotaa songs.. old new. ..retro.. rock.. some mania i guess.. i was recollecting the song i liked in my teen years.. n i cudnt recollect a single word.. :P cudnt recollect then ame of the singer n all.. all i cud remember was.. the singer was an australian.. and the video of the song.. :P yup laugh .. point out ur fingers at me.. and laugh...
:P
ok .. can some one help me with the song?? its singer??? i need it badly.. :D ..

in the video thers a guy.. in black (the singer) he drives his car.. no bicycle.. oh ! i forgot.. and reaches the place where the recording takes place.. it has a choir with all the singers in black.. some african ladies.. with big mouths .. yelling out loud.. with the singer... and thenthey all sing the song standing together.. kafi pleasant si morning dikhai thi.. fir he sits on a hill .. near a road.. and sing there.. then on a bridge... and then they finish thesong.. and all of em clap for the singer....

:( helllllp meee... i want to know the name singer.. joey... mc.. i dun remmebr.. googled a lot.. maine to apne rumal me gaath bandh di hain.. jab tak nahi mila tab tak khana nahi khungii main :(
:((

bye tc..
miss mee...
nidhi

HAMARE WOH !

Well.... i was tagged by atul..& neetie... a few days back.. i din update my blog for quiet some time.. so .. this tag is really an old one now .. nothing new ... im following a tag .. or out dated tag again.. LAAZYY MEEEE !!!.. ne wayz.. they wanted m to write about my "hamare vo".. !! :D .. jo hamare puuurrrrffffeeeccctt lover bhi hongee :P

Rules of the game are …
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.

So here I go...

Sex: Ha ! Ha ! vo male hone caahiyeen !! :-s ha ha.. thats wht u wanted to know na?? :p

1. BEST FRIEND .. i want a friend for life.. friendship is the best relation.. ne 2 ppl on earth can share.. unconditional love n care.. true.. that UNDERSTANDING... thats what friendship is all about :)
love makes ppl posessive about the other person.. friends r never possesive about each other...they give each other space.. they compliment each other .. in every respect... friends fight... but they find a way out of the problem.. none dominates the other... :)

2. SENSE OF HUMOR.. a person who cannot make me laugh .. cant spend a life with me.. aree.. he cant even imagine spending an hour with me.. i crack so many pjs.. either he has to listen to them.. and phadofy the pjs.. or make me laugh.. and ill follow with the phadofy thing..

3. TALKATIVE .. well.. im a chatter box.. i cant talk to myself naaa.. i mean.. i have to ..have tooo.. HAVE TO .. talk to him .. weather it b a gossip .. a current affair topic..(which i dunno and he explains it to me.. :P ) or i explain it to him..or we just discuss :P :P.. a philosopical.. psychological.. stuff ne damn thing... but i have to talk... a guy who smiles for the heck of it.. who talks to me in a series of yess.. n noos cant stand me.. and viceversa..

4. TRUST ..BEFIEF.. FAITH... thats the most imp part of the bond... a guy who spys on me.. who has ne kinda doubt reagrding my ahem.. ahem.. Character.. can get a butt kickin.. and is ought to get insulted and kicked out of my life.!!.. A relationship without trust..is not a realtionship.. not even friendship.. let alone love...

5. MY SENTIMENTAL MUSH.. i can b a depression pill .. getting all sentimental.. emotional.. and depressed.. about something.. I have a probblem.. of gettin attached to the things i wanna have.. i love or i care for..n when i dun make it or fail in it.. i get all emotional.. though such feelings dun last long.. but such mood swings happen.. he has to stand next to me.. when im sad.. he has to understand my problem.. and not get irritated by my behavior.. coz im ought to cuddle him like a teddy and cry out loud .. haha

6. FOCUS & PRIORITIES... he has to know.. what he wants.. i heard my brother saying this once.. " one who dsnt know what he wants.. whats every thing that everybody else wants" .. i want a guy who is firm about what he wants.. only then can he b focused about his priorities.. and this point includes a sub point too.. he has to have FAMILY(US.. I HIM.. AND IF HUSBAND ;) .. CHILDREN n our parents) as his first priority.. then money n property and last others...

7. GHUMNA FIRNA MASTI MAZAA..... i dun want a guy who works all day and gets back home .. 2 eat & sleep.. no bread b brekfast spouse plzz... a life without frequent trips 2 mazedaar places :P :D.. coffee tea and me.. movies.. shows ..is like dead.. i mean.. u dun earn coz u want a loooong car... a biiig house.. .. theres some thing called happiness.. fun .. a basic necessity if one wants 2 b sane.. he has to take me out on dinners.. and .. once in a while.. on trips round the country.. ha ha.. ill finance him here :P ;)

8. RESPECT.. he has to respect me... and my parents.. ill do that for sure.. i want him to treat my parents as his parents.. i want US to have 2 sets of parents :D ... i want him to respect my decisions.. and i wanna do the same 2 him and his parents.. oops OUR PARENTS..

well .. i yam demanding .. am i not ??.. ha ha.. i dunnno if such a guy exists... n im not intrested either.. im thinkin about staying single.... i will earn.. will support my parents.. and adopt a kid.. :D ...

ok nooow ... the bloggers i have tagged...

chaitra .. welcome to blogosphere lady :D
manish (lost within..).. haha !! mammu.. u will habe to follow this time..
manish (new cloud) .. le sambhaal :D
saikat .. welcome back :)
anu... ur blog rox there days :)
mitu.. congzz hain ji.. aap ko pata ahin ku ..
pooza .. >:D<>
sweet girl aap ne bhi force kia blog update k liye.. abb bhugto ;)

newayz just found this some where .. :)
"Not always does HIS plan agree with what we are or what we feel.. but be assured that HE.. has a reason for all this" .. Paulo Ceolho

BBYEE... n take care..
b gud.. n miss me.. :)
nidhi