hey !!! wots up ppl ?? :) sab bhala changa?? gud :) well all the results r out.. n im nt happy.. need i say more? im fine.. yup i know.. most of u will ask the questn "u ok?" im fine re.. sachii.. i know how i gave those tests.. remember that post??and the other posts following it ?? newayz.. that thing did leave some marks.. it hitted me hard.. it hurts to thinnk how i screwed my CAT.. chooro.. dun wanna think about it ... i mean i dun want to.. but it creeps into my mind.. some way or the other.. a lost battle.. a battle that i din lose coz i deserved to lose it.. but for some reasons that i cudnt control.. huh !
newayz.. u know.. if u wanna have a real gud time... get a head phone.. a gud one on that.. and enqueue some songs like.. zinda hu.. aadat.. dooba dooba rehta hu.. afreen afreen.. yaroo (kk).. pal.. everything i do.. o sanam (lucky ali).. teri yaaden(lucky ali)... play em at full volume.. maan !! winamp is currently playin.. zinda hu.. some songs r sent from heaven i guess .. (hehe) ..
well.. 2-3 days bak i had a fight with rachit.. yup the same guy .. who is my brother.. yup.. remember the last post.. i wrote i hate him.. but i still love him.. i have been thinkin about it for quiet sometim now.. we havent talked since last 3 days.. i feel sad.. but nothin moves him.. n thats what exactly makes me dislike him..but we were not like this hamesha.. i mean i remember when my parents brought him form the hospital.. i loved him so much..id do nething to see him smile.. i remember when he used to cry.. id sing all the funny songs to make him giggle.. wud do nething to see him happy..i used to b an organised person.. kept all my games and dolls in a rack.. arranged.. but then i had a brother who wud break the necks and hands of my barbie dolls.. and my games wud b a combination of ludo and business.. a combo of MAD and OPERATION.. huh ! scrabble.. wud b in his mouth most of the times.. but then i was a gud sis... never fought with him.. he ruined so many things.. i never said a thing.. and instead took care of him.. every thing was fine.. every thing.. infact mom loved the way i took care of him.. but today every thing is so diferent.. he has grown up.. and even though i still care for him.. and support him.. i havent yet got nething in return.. so here lies the problem.. earlier i took care of him.. and never expected ne thing in return.. even when he spoiled so may things of mine.. i acceptef it the way it was.. thinkin he is my lil chotu.. chweetu bro.. and its ok.. but today.. i dun like him.. coz he hasnt ever suppotred me.. he hasnt stopped baing my chotu bro. for him im still this elder sis.. who will love him no matter what....
this is the major cause of the problem b/w me n him.. EXPECTATION.. i expect him to gimmy same kinda warmth that i gave/give him.. the problem is.. the "that i gave/give him" part of my last sentence... see he is a different person.. a person who isint like me.. so to b happy i need to accept it at its face value.. and accept it the way it has come out .. and not expect what dosent exists.. i have seen brothers who care for their sisiters.. but i guess i havent been that lucky.. newayz.. its ok.. i have done my job religiously.. and i shud think about that be happy.. ne relationhip gets screwed when u expect and u dun get ne thing in return.. the funda is .. not to expect ne thing.. and ull b happy when u get something which wasnt expected.. and wun feel bad when u dun get something u din expect... isint it?? newayz.. i hope to get him back as my lil sweet bro ..but thers no respect .. that exists between us.. its necessary to respect each other in any kinda relationship..one of the most important ingredients i must say..here.. he dsnt respect me.. n im no less.. but he will miss me... or may b he wont.. i remember.. in IX standard i went to panchmari with my school frnz.. on a natures camp.. it was a 7days long trip.. n he missed me bigtime.. he called me so many times.. but thats an old thing now.. after that trip i have been out for so many trips w/o my family.. but those cute calls and sweet talks never happened again.. its me who calls him.. when i dun see him at home.. for a long time.. ..
lets hope everything gets bak to normal.. i dun like fightin with him.. or with ne body for that matter..
yest i was at a gathering..i was lost in some other world.. wonderin how ppl fallin in love... and then marry and screw their lives.. newayz around me was a kid .. maahira.. my frn was playin with her .. and that chweety was giggling sooo much.. THANK GOD .. she diverted my mind.. and i stopped thinkin about that couple on the stage.. smiling lookin into the camera.. huh !.. well that cutie was smiling .. giggling.. laughing.. screaming .. at the top of her voice.. i cud see the purity in everything that she was doing.. when she felt like laughin ... she was doing that.. and givin her max to it :D .. not bothered about ne other thing... when she felt like removin her shoes.. she did that without carin what the world will say... hehe .. nice na.. i wanna b just like her.. not bothered about this world.. free of the word called society.. free 2 do nething i want.. netime i want... that gal made me smile .. and giggle so much.. and i did that after quiet a while..
i read this poem some where.. i guess on saikats blog..
newayz.. u know.. if u wanna have a real gud time... get a head phone.. a gud one on that.. and enqueue some songs like.. zinda hu.. aadat.. dooba dooba rehta hu.. afreen afreen.. yaroo (kk).. pal.. everything i do.. o sanam (lucky ali).. teri yaaden(lucky ali)... play em at full volume.. maan !! winamp is currently playin.. zinda hu.. some songs r sent from heaven i guess .. (hehe) ..
well.. 2-3 days bak i had a fight with rachit.. yup the same guy .. who is my brother.. yup.. remember the last post.. i wrote i hate him.. but i still love him.. i have been thinkin about it for quiet sometim now.. we havent talked since last 3 days.. i feel sad.. but nothin moves him.. n thats what exactly makes me dislike him..but we were not like this hamesha.. i mean i remember when my parents brought him form the hospital.. i loved him so much..id do nething to see him smile.. i remember when he used to cry.. id sing all the funny songs to make him giggle.. wud do nething to see him happy..i used to b an organised person.. kept all my games and dolls in a rack.. arranged.. but then i had a brother who wud break the necks and hands of my barbie dolls.. and my games wud b a combination of ludo and business.. a combo of MAD and OPERATION.. huh ! scrabble.. wud b in his mouth most of the times.. but then i was a gud sis... never fought with him.. he ruined so many things.. i never said a thing.. and instead took care of him.. every thing was fine.. every thing.. infact mom loved the way i took care of him.. but today every thing is so diferent.. he has grown up.. and even though i still care for him.. and support him.. i havent yet got nething in return.. so here lies the problem.. earlier i took care of him.. and never expected ne thing in return.. even when he spoiled so may things of mine.. i acceptef it the way it was.. thinkin he is my lil chotu.. chweetu bro.. and its ok.. but today.. i dun like him.. coz he hasnt ever suppotred me.. he hasnt stopped baing my chotu bro. for him im still this elder sis.. who will love him no matter what....
this is the major cause of the problem b/w me n him.. EXPECTATION.. i expect him to gimmy same kinda warmth that i gave/give him.. the problem is.. the "that i gave/give him" part of my last sentence... see he is a different person.. a person who isint like me.. so to b happy i need to accept it at its face value.. and accept it the way it has come out .. and not expect what dosent exists.. i have seen brothers who care for their sisiters.. but i guess i havent been that lucky.. newayz.. its ok.. i have done my job religiously.. and i shud think about that be happy.. ne relationhip gets screwed when u expect and u dun get ne thing in return.. the funda is .. not to expect ne thing.. and ull b happy when u get something which wasnt expected.. and wun feel bad when u dun get something u din expect... isint it?? newayz.. i hope to get him back as my lil sweet bro ..but thers no respect .. that exists between us.. its necessary to respect each other in any kinda relationship..one of the most important ingredients i must say..here.. he dsnt respect me.. n im no less.. but he will miss me... or may b he wont.. i remember.. in IX standard i went to panchmari with my school frnz.. on a natures camp.. it was a 7days long trip.. n he missed me bigtime.. he called me so many times.. but thats an old thing now.. after that trip i have been out for so many trips w/o my family.. but those cute calls and sweet talks never happened again.. its me who calls him.. when i dun see him at home.. for a long time.. ..
lets hope everything gets bak to normal.. i dun like fightin with him.. or with ne body for that matter..
yest i was at a gathering..i was lost in some other world.. wonderin how ppl fallin in love... and then marry and screw their lives.. newayz around me was a kid .. maahira.. my frn was playin with her .. and that chweety was giggling sooo much.. THANK GOD .. she diverted my mind.. and i stopped thinkin about that couple on the stage.. smiling lookin into the camera.. huh !.. well that cutie was smiling .. giggling.. laughing.. screaming .. at the top of her voice.. i cud see the purity in everything that she was doing.. when she felt like laughin ... she was doing that.. and givin her max to it :D .. not bothered about ne other thing... when she felt like removin her shoes.. she did that without carin what the world will say... hehe .. nice na.. i wanna b just like her.. not bothered about this world.. free of the word called society.. free 2 do nething i want.. netime i want... that gal made me smile .. and giggle so much.. and i did that after quiet a while..
i read this poem some where.. i guess on saikats blog..
I want to reach the horizon where the sky and earth meet
I want to climb up the mountain and kiss the passing cloud
I want to get wet when the rain falls and dance in the crowd
Don't you see, there is a child in me
Who is chained by the society but wants to be free
Don't you feel there is a child in thee
Who is caged inside you and wants to break free
I want to play in the garden and chase the beautiful butterflies
I want to smell all those flowers and catch those dragonflies
I want to lay down on mummy's lap and hear those old fairy tales
I want to catch hold of daddy's arms and walk past those old lanes
Don't you see, there is a child in me
Who is chained by the society but wants to be free
Don't you feel there is a child in thee
Who is caged inside you and wants to break free
I want to play all those childhood games, want to run, hide and scream
I want to go back to those old days when everyday was a new dream
I want to play in those slides and swings and sing those nursery rhymes
I want to live my life again as a kid and die with that old smile
Don't you see, there is a child in me
Who is chained by the society but wants to be free
Don't you feel there is a child in thee
Who is caged inside you and wants to break free
newayz... long post again.. i cant help it.. :D .. but im happy that life's teachin me some leasons.. makin me grow.. n understand life and the world better.. im not sad.. IM FINE : ).. PLZ COMMENT.. BUT NO SAD COMMENTS PLZZ :D .. lets smile .. and spread some :)
buh bye :) miss me..
tc
n be gud :D
nidhi
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