THERE GOES 2005 .. N HERE COMES 2006 :)

I hope that 2005
was everything you wanted it to be.
I hope you had joy and fun
and friendship from everyone.
I hope you were content
and had peace of mind;
and I hope you found true happiness,
the kind that's hard to find.
Most of all, I hope that in 2006
you will find even more!
Happy New Year !!

ps.. grand ma passed away last monday : plz pray for her soul.. may her soul rest in peace :) .. granny i know ur up there .. takin care of me.. :) just like u did when u were here with me.. i ws at e2 .. N I REALLY MISSE EVERY MOMENTWITHOUT U AROUND :\ .. im happy that ur free of all ur pains now.. but im sad coz i dun have ne one to recite stories now :( ... miss u :/

:)
nidhi

NO FULL STOPS .. NO COMMAS... PUT A "!" OR A "?" WHERE EVA U WANT.. ISINT THAT LIFE??

This is my 100th post!!!.. newayz.. Im sick of giving exams.. when will engineering end? hmm.. not tht i hate it.. i like it.. kind of like it i mean.. but i want it to end as soon as possible.. wanna see the other side of the wall.. i have network managemt paper on 24th... my prepration .. zlitch.. i hate studin.. i dunno how i reahed 4th year.. i dunno how 7th sem got over ..am a computer engineer.. wel almost..and i still make mistakes while typing.. read on... n ull see.. my typos.. i dun look at the key board while typing.. and see what i do is crapy..so what..who said engg cant make mistakes.. typin mistakes i mean.. what eva it is.. i wanna finish all this n get away.. yup i love my parents .. i lov my friends.. i lov every thing around me.. but i wanna fly away to some distant place.. where no one knows me.. i know its weird.. but thats what i wanna do.. im fed up of this life.. its so monotonus.. same schudle daily.. i fed up of studin .. im fed up of my own ambitions im fed up of my dreams.. i know that sounds as crazy as the rest of the lines of this post... but thats exactly what i feel like.. yup there was a time when i wanted every thing in my life to b stable.. but now i fed up of this stability.. nothing lasts forever.. nothing at all.. so when iknow that nothing is gonna last.. i wanna take the easy way out.. dun wanna get addicted to any damn thing on earth.. so when tht thing leaves me.. it wont hurt.. i have trusted so many people.. and got nothing in return.. not that i expected ne thing from them.. but learnt one thing.. trust hurts.. i have seen a lot.. experienced a lot.. not that i am 96 years old.. but still.. and i tell u.. life isint all that gud.. life isint fair.. but then who said life is supposed to b fair.. so its all fair !.. i wanna detach myself from every damn realtion on earth.. wanna leave ever thing behind.. wanna grow and move ahead. i know i can do that even without leavin the people around me.... but then.. i just WANT to leave em all.. im fed up !!! ok.. i gt bored very easily.. but this is a new development.. ! yesturday.. one of my frnz asked me.. y did he stop calling me.. i told her.. guys do all that they can to get to u.. and when ur thrie frnz.. they dun value u.. basically they dun value ne thing.. most of them dont.. i dunno what made me say that.. but that made her feel fine.. and made me wonder what made me say that.. who cares.. i wanna break free .. n that is all that matters.. !!! i dun like calling and msgin my frnz now.. its like im torn .. worn out.. fed up of callinga nd mailing and msgin them all.. and then i get those calls from them .. yellin at me.. "y din u call up" .. "r u even alive??" .. i dun pick up a few calls coz i just dun wanna tlk.. coz i wanna b alone.. coz i wwanna spend some timw with myself.. Y is man a social animal??? i wanna live alone.. i wanna WALK ALONE.. ! i know i can take care of myself.. i dun need ne one to support me.. i know my parents made me capable of sayin whati just said.. iknow they'll need me in their old days.. may b then even need me now.. but im sittin here.. typin what i want to.. will i b like this always... numb??? newayz.. the point is ill b there 4 my parens ... im nt sure about my brother though.. i mean.. the love that i have for him.. is un-understandable.. i hate him.. he never took care of me.. he has always been so selfish and self centered... but ever time he needs me ..im there.. iknow he nevr gives me support.. and i have cried hours thinkin about that.. but my heart bleeds when i see him cry... i hate him.. i really do.. but my hert aches when he wastes his time on video games..a nd he has his exam tomm.. i hate him.. but it hurts so bad when i see him sad about his result.. do i love him?? newayz the point is.. i love him.. i love my parents.. i love my friends.. i love em all.. but i wanna walk alone.. i take a small tim to get close to ppl.. i dunno how.. but then when they leve me.. it hurts.. i never judge ppl.. i never expect ne thing from ne one.. then y does it hurt?? i dunnoo.. but its ok.. i dunnoo a lot of things,... shi.. just sent me an sms.. she says love is beautiful.. but the best thing in lif is to b free.. and not committen to ne one.. i dun understand what she says..hat eva it is.. its a contradiction... i dunno wht love is.. and something tells me.. if i havent seen loove.. ITS OK ! i havnt seen many things.. i havent seen th great wall of china.. i havent seen a sea coast.. its ok.. my life is beautiful.. i love it the way it is.. what eva it is,,.. her sms was gud.. this post is long... i dunno what i am writing,... i just wanted to pour my heart.. and i wanted to do it .. alone.. so here i am.. but then u all will read it.. ITS OK.. i wanna do a lota things in life.. i wanna see the world.. i want an MBA degree.. from a gud college.. i want to b at peace with what eva i have.. i wanna get a lil slim.. i want a bose speaker.. i want a merc.. wanna laughout so loud .. that ppl all me crazy.. i wanna say what eva i feel like in ne ones face i want.. i really wanna slap some ppl around me.. not just around me.. i wanna kick some bu** .. ne bu** i want .. yup i wnna do that .. i want a new wardrobe.. i want to give my exams but not in ink.. i wanna use pencils in exams aswell.. i dunnoooo. i like writing with em.. i want a room heater right now.. hmmm... i want .. i dunnoooo... i really dont know.. u know?? life sometimes gives u second chance.. but i will not elaborate this ppoint... and dreams do come true... i wanted to be friends with some one.. i even told god that i wnted to b frnz .. and i din evn hav to do a thing.. god did it to me.. but then.. this dosnt happne alwayz.. i tell god to do so many things for me.. he din listen.. and i said its ok... but din stop askin him for more.. .. im nuts.. some ppl thing im cool about every damn thing in life.. it not so.. im not open to all .. and the ones whoknow me.. know im a cry baby.. i wasnt a cray baby.. but last one year. i have been cry baby .. no doubt.. will change.. i want to.. ! im gud at painting.. i love oil paints... i shud have tried there .. leave it .. i wanted to join DAVV.. dad said no.. i said ok.. that was my biggest mistake.. but then last 4 years i got a lil more close to my best frn.. my dad.. so shud i b thankful .. of shud i feel bad??life is a living contradiction.. i have stared accepting the way it comes.. i hate ppl who think the world revolves around them.. i wanna say some bad words and punch em in their face.. give em a blue eye or 2.. but i dun do that.. i have changed a lot.. i avoid arguments ... i dunno y.. but that has made me real kool.. im cool about every thing.. gandhi ji types.. im gonna run thru the crowds.. lik mad.. and make a mark .. ill reach the place where i wanna b .. ill do that.. i know what wnat in life.. and ill get it.. no comproo this time.. im pagal.. they all think i am.. but what they think is justa part of what they dont.. im super mad.. i say things that they dun understand..only the ones who can think can survive a talk with me.. u think i think too much of my self?? to hell with u .. !! u think i giggle and laugh most of the thimes.. think again.. am i laughin on u ?? hmm not don take that personally.. if u cant think.. its ok.. u shuldnt think much.. its nt gud.. but i giggle.. coz i like crackin pjs.. i love PAGAL KAHO.. by KK.. i wanted him to sing his first song in that concert.. but he cudnt hear me.. :/ ... i dun know myself.. and ppl who think they know me.. know a perseon who dsnt know herself.. how stupin can life be?? i have a lotaa sylabus to complete.. il finish it. i know i can.. i know when i go downstairs .. mo will ask me.. if i wanna eat something.. ill say no.. ill go out in the garden and walk for a minute or twon.. ill feel cold.. and come back in.. and then say to my self.. I WANNA WALK ALONE !!!!!

I am lost within...

Im the one, that rages within, no time to think
emotionless, emptiness plagues, no time for the wake
close your mind, open your heart to see what I am
Foolishness laughs, pride decays, the time is so clear

I am lost within, You will see that I am afraid

I grow tired, of being what I am
Patience wears, no sight of end
growing fears so sharp cut in
Ive got to free the chains that bind me

twist the truth with lies and no proof Ive fallen to compulsion
agony returns, beginning again, until I see through illusions so vague
lost within life, haunted by fear, the nemesis lives within
disgrace to all, I have been deemed jester of the masses

I am lost within, You will see that I am afraid

I grow tired, of being what I am
Patience wears, no sight of end
growing fears so sharp cut in
Ive got to free the chains that bind me

I am lost within, You will see that I am afraid ...

~Author unknown

HII M BAK :)

Hmm...
a lot has been happenin..
my exams r on.. had my first paper yeat. was gr8.. :) .. so i know what Compiler Design is.. :D ..
every body around is talkin about how they will miss college days.. and how they will miss their frnz n all..

lotss senti menti.. msgs commin in.. that make me nostalgic .. :D .. : will definately miss these days.. .. will miss my frnz.. ppl who make me understand what gud and bad is..pll who take care of me.. :) ..

some really senti msgs .. :P that made me make that stupid face .. sayin .. y-will-u-miss-me-soo-much .. coz they were sent by some not-so-gud-frnz..

kal phir yahi sama hoga..
hum me se kaun na jane kaha hoga..
murjhaye phool to mil jayenge kitabo me..
par bichede dosto ka shayad hi koi pata hoga..

and another..

lamha lamha kar ke waqt guzar jayega..
chand lamhe aur.. fir daman choot jayega..
waqt hai abhi..dosti ki kuch bateen kar llloo..
fir na jane kiska nsaeeb kisekaha le jayegaa ..

...well i dunno.. yep ill miss my frnz.. and last nite this feelin mademe skip a beat .. ill miss every thing.. : . but then its a part of life.. i m happy ill b free of this marks ki "MOHMAYA" .. i wont have to tolerate this technical stuff ne more :D.. maggu stuff i mean.. but im unhappy.. that ill have to face the BIG-BAD-WORLD.. with by one on my side.. : i havent eva live d without my parents.. without my siblings.. neva.. i have had loads of ppl around me.. helpin me .. guidin me.. but 6-7 months down the line.. life is gonna change BIGTIME.,. :\ im just too scared of that .. newayz...

i have my exam on 15th.. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE.. :( .. and i dun know 'A' of AI.. :D .. gottaaaa study a lott..

but before leavin.. i'd like to introduce.. my frn Manish.. he has just started bloggin.. visit him at .. http://lostwithinme.blogspot.com .. do visit his blog :) he writes some thought provoking stuff :D .. hehe :P

and before leavin i have a reply for the above msgs that ppl sent me..which i found somewhere on net ... for my friends and near and dear ones.. who will go back to their places and will never come back..

When the cold of winter comes
Starless night will cover day
In the veiling of the sun
We will walk in bitter rain

But in dreams
I can hear your name
And in dreams
We will meet again

When the seas and mountains fall
And we come, to end of days
In the dark I hear a call
Calling me there,
I will go there
And back again ...

i wonder if i made sense... :D .. newayz..chalo.. i gotta go.. n start studin :D ..
byee :)
tc
miss me..
nidhi